Well the last few weeks have been an exercise in ups and downs, but I’m looking forward to Christmas and being off school now. I lowered my doseage of prozac back down to 40mg and I will cut it down to 20 in a few week’s time. My psychiatrist wants to start me on Sertraline, another antidepressant, in the new year, but I’m not so sure about the whole thing, to be honest. I have been down a lot over the past month and I’m also a lot more angry now. In the past, I held all of my anger inside and directed it at myself, but now some of it is being released more outwardly.
I feel very regretful about school lately, and that I have spent six years there without getting to know anyone or letting them see the real me. I regret all the opportunities I wasted and I really do hate myself for that. I will be glad to leave school in May, as it has been a throughly negative experience for me, but it makes me so sad to think I wasted all that time and never got involved in anything.
Anyway, all that aside, I’m looking forward to Christmas and spending time with my family. I think the time off school will do me good, even though I’ll have a lot of studying to do over the holidays. Going for walks on my own seems to help with my anxiety, so I will be doing more of that.
I shall finish the post with a song:
